Archive for August, 2009

Dealing With A Cheater | Ending A Relationship

Dealing With A Cheater

“You Suspect or Know That Your Lover Is

Cheating On You…You Are Angry, Frustrated,

Upset, and Hurt. Now Learn What To Do”

Dear Friend,

Nothing is more heart-wrenching than dealing with a cheater. You feel betrayed, angry, hurt, and frustrated, along with a myriad of other feelings. Is it possible to save a relationship that has been soiled by a cheating lover? Can the one who was cheated on get over the betrayal, and will the one who cheated do so again?

 

Dealing with a Cheater – Why They Cheat

1) Dealing with a Cheater – Why Do People Cheat?

Most people will never be able to understand why another person would cheat on the one they love. There are a number of different reasons that both men and women cheat, but one thing is for sure: they believe that by cheating and going outside of the relationship, they can make things better inside the relationship.

Some people feel that they’re not getting what they need from their partner. They feel as though they’re not special to their partner anymore and go outside of the relationship in order to feel special again. Others simply enjoy flirting and take things one step too far.

Some do not know how to honor the boundaries of a relationship, and some men believe that they aren’t being manly if they turn down a sexual offer from a beautiful woman. Does this make dealing with a cheater okay? Of course not!

If you have an open relationship, where each of you is allowed to be with other people, that’s one thing. If you’re in an exclusive relationship and you cheat behind your loved one’s back, it is not okay. You are breaking their trust and heart in order to get your own gratification. This is why dealing with a cheater is so hard for the person that was cheated on. One minute everything seem to be going fine, then all of a sudden one person cheats and ruin the relationship.

2) Dealing with a Cheater -The Evidence

When you first suspect your partner of cheating, even thinking about your partner with another person can cause unbearable pain. Adding to this the fact that your partner may go to a lot of trouble to hide any evidence, knowing for sure that he or she is humiliating you is even more difficult.

A number of frustrated spouses write in to me in desperation, against a brick wall when it comes to finding any evidence of infidelity. Partners delete incoming call lists from their cell phone, cell phone history, password-protect their computers, and setup private bank accounts that are impossible to track.

They may disappear overnight or for several days, with no trace of where they have been or a viable explanation. For some people, dealing with a cheater is so hard when they almost seems invincible, waving their infidelity in the face of their partner, smug in their successful efforts in destroying and eliminating all damning evidence.

At this level it can almost become a power game, and for those people left struggling to make sense of what has happened, the infidelity is now only one part of a long chain of humiliations. Without sufficient proof, the cheating partner continues their behavior, defying anyone to prove otherwise. But in looking at this, is there any hope?

What do these people need to do to find the proof they need when dealing with a cheater?

Dealing with a Cheater – Getting The Proof

How does a partner in need bring this to some sort of closure?

Conclusive proof may be only a click away:

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3) Dealing with a Cheater – Time to Heal

If you have been cheated on, you need some time to heal. My friend Jenifer was cheated on by her partner of 10 years. He explained the situation away, telling her that he still loved her but that he wasn’t getting what he needed from her.

He was getting older, he said, and sleeping with someone so much younger than him made him feel better. To this day, I am still shocked that she didn’t scream when he said that. Instead, she came to us and we helped her to get her own apartment.

Jenifer had never lived on her own and was very scared at the prospect. After a few months, she learned how to live on her own. She discovered that she missed her partner, and that while she didn’t condone what he had done, she understood his point of view.

The two worked through their differences and have been happy together since.

If your partner has cheated on you, give yourself time to heal. It may take months for you to fully heal from the wound that was inflicted on your heart. If living with the person is too difficult, move away for a bit. You can stay with friends or family, or you can get your own place.

3) Dealing with a Cheater – Forgive, Don’t Forget

In order for your relationship to be saved, it is vital that you forgive both your partner and the person they slept with. If you walk around harboring those feelings, your anger and jealousy will build until the relationship rots from the inside.

Forgiving your lover and the person they cheated with is the next step in catch your spouse cheating">saving your relationship. This does not mean that you should forget what happened. While you shouldn’t bring it up all the time, it’s important to remember what occurred (which is generally not too difficult).

How can you forgive your lover’s other partner? First of all, you need to recognize that the person is not perfect. They have flaws, both in their personality and in their body. Your partner likely chose this person for reasons other than looks or compatibility—such as luck and circumstance, or being at the “right place at the right time.”

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How can you forgive your lover? Try seeing things from their point of view, realizing that not everyone is perfect, and knowing that some people make mistakes, including your lover.

The question then becomes whether or not you should forgive your lover, because if you don’t then this could lead to ending a relationship . If your beloved is trying to make amends, and if they are truly sorry for what they did, your relationship still has a chance to mend and heal.

If they explain what occurred and are willing to pour out their heart to you, things can get better. With a little time, and a lot of understanding, a relationship can survive a cheating lover.

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FREE Report: What to Do RIGHT Now After the Affair Get instant access and uncover the 21-most effective steps marriage counselors are using to help their clients survive an affair. Add your name and email below to receive this report and Marriage Sherpa’s FREE email course for surviving the affair. Erase the images from your mind… Rebuild your self-esteem… How to talk about the details… How to find out why it happened… Why you don’t need to forgive… 10 things you must do TODAY… Decide if you should stay or go… First Name Email

Dealing With A Cheater | Ending A Relationship

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Save Your Marriage | 8 Simple Ways To Save Your Marriage

Save Your Marriage

“It Is Time To End The Fighting And

Stop The Talk of Divorce“

Dear Friend,

What would it mean to you if you knew the 8 ways to save your marriage and make your marriage a HAPPY MARRIAGE? Would that transform your relationship? What if you knew how to end the conflict and pain, how to restore the love and connection?

Wouldn’t that be worthwhile?

Even priceless?

What if, for all this time, the secret of marriage has been hidden?

What would you do if you knew the secret?

What would be different in your life?

Well, that is the truth! I firmly believe that marriages that succeed have “stumbled” upon these secrets. And marriages that failed, well, they never discovered them.

Save Your Marriage Starting Today!

Finding happiness is not always easy especially when you are trying to save a marriage. It is something that we have to do for ourselves in order to have the life that we want and need.

The road to happiness in a marriage is also something that we have to peruse so that we living the life that we want with the person that we can share it all with.  Taking the time to figure out what we need and want is the most difficult part of it all. There are some steps that we can take to get us where we need to be.

Being happy in your marriage is going to depend on you and your mate. You both have to work hard to keep it on the right path so that you can dream and have the life that you have always wanted together forever.  You need to work hard and do what you can to salvage your marriage.

Dream big and make sure that you keep your expectations to a reality.  Keep your goals set and work hard to save your marriage.

Save Your Marriage – Steps to Save Your Marriage

1. First of all, you need to communicate with your partner.

You want to make sure that you are speaking all the time and keeping in touch with what each other wants and needs. Think about how you want to be treated and this is what you should represent when you are talking to your spouse. You need to be sure that you are keeping communication high so that you can feel good about one another and know what is going on in your separate worlds.

Do not be afraid to talk about things that you want from the marriage as well. You want to be sure that you are expressing what you want and need out of him. This will help you feel better and you should encourage him to let you know what he wants and needs as well.

2. Dreaming together is part of sharing a HAPPY MARRIAGE.

Make sure that you are planning ahead and keeping all of your dreams in focus. Think about what you want to do tomorrow as well in the future.  Do you want to have children, where do you want to live are all dreams that you should be planning together so that you can both have what you expect and want in the marriage.

If you do not share the same types of future dreams, you may not ever find true happiness together.

3. Play your part in the marriage. You need to contribute good things and even some bad to save your marriage.

You have to own what you do and keep what you want to have as well as change the things that are not making you happy. This will go both ways and you have to be sure that you are ready to stick to your guns and keep what you are looking for in saving your marriage.

4. Another good step to save your marriage is to realize that you cannot change someone else.

You are the only person that you can change.  If you think that you are going to make him change this is probably not a good expectation to have. You will not like it when someone tries to get you to change so it is important to not try and change anyone else. You need to accept him for who he is and if you are not happy with the way that you are acting, you need to change. You have to do your best to create the person that you want to be so that you can find happiness in your marriage.

5. Paying attention to each other’s complaints is another way to save your marriage with each other.

You need to listen to him and find out what is not making him happy. This will be the same for him listening to your complaints. This is the only way that you can make sure that you are going to be doing all the right things to create a good and healthy marriage with each other.

6. Trust is one definite for any marriage.

You need to build a good and solid marriage on trust if you want to save your marriage. This is something that is going to get you far. If you cannot be honest with him then you are not going to stand a chance. You have to be ready to take on the part of being honest and sharing everything.

Do not keep things from him and do not accept this behavior on his part either. Being honest is a great idea and way to stay happy and take that step closer to a better marriage.

7. Having fun is always a good thing in a marriage.

Do things that you are both going to enjoy and make sure that you are doing things that make you happy and keep you interested in each other and the things that you like. Make sure that you are making memories so that you have them for a lifetime to come.

You can have a happy and healthy marriage with the partner that you think is right for you.

8. Never give up.

This is a step that you have to enforce. You need to keep on being persistent and make sure that it all works out for you in the end. You deserve to be happy and this is something that is going to be good for you in the end. You want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to keep a healthy and HAPPY MARRIAGE to last a lifetime.

With these happy marriage steps you can have a great time and the life that you are looking for to create the love of your life.  You need to make sure that you are doing all that you can to encourage a happy and very successful life with the partner that you have always dreamed about.

Don’t give up on your marriage…

Couples all over the globe give up on their marriages every year, and they do so needlessly. If they knew what to do to open the lines of communication and talk to their partners, they could save themselves a lot of stress and heartache.

You never thought the day you married that you would end up divorcing. In fact, it would have been the furthest thing from your mind. If you don’t take action now, your marriage will fail.

Save Your Marriage – How To Save Your Marriage Guide

Online author Amy Waterman has all the techniques necessary to facilitate resolving conflicts, increase self esteem, learn about forgiveness, and re ignite the passion that you both once felt. With Amy’s help you can save your marriage and avoid being a divorce statistic. It may be the best advice you have ever had!

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SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE

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