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3 Ways to Deal With Phobia of Commitment | Building a Better Relationship

Phobia of Commitment

phobia of commitment

Deal With Phobia of Commitment

“Ladies is Your Man Ready To Be in a Committed Relationship?”

Ladies,

Does your man have a phobia of commitment? You can help him with overcoming commitment phobia. There are some men who make women feel very lovable and desirable. They lavish love and gifts on them, and make them feel very special. But when it comes to marriage, they back out.

They have a great fear of getting tied to a single woman for life. They run away from the very idea of marriage. Their relationships never have fairy tale endings; instead they are littered with heartbreaks.

Phobia of Commitment – Fear of Committing

These men suffer from phobia of commitment, a fear of committing themselves to one single woman. However, they don’t hesitate to play the loving game. They go out of their way to make their women feel special. They woo them with all the passion that they can command. But they cool off once the woman talks of marriage.

Phobia of Commitment – How to spot a commitment phoebe

For any woman it is important to spot commitment phoebes – that is men who suffer from phobia of commitment– early in the relationship. This is the only way they can keep their feet firmly on the ground, and not get swept away by the charm offensive launched by such men.

Fortunately, the commitment phoebes are very predictable and display several common traits.

These are:

Guys with phobia of commitment  have been involved in several relationships in the past, but all of them have been brief. The reason, they will charmingly tell you, is that they are yet to come across a woman of their dreams, someone with whom they can have a lifelong relationship. You are that woman, they will tell you. It is for you to spot the lie or swallow it hook, line and sinker.

Guys with phobia of commitment would show much more interest in you that you do in them.

Guys with phobia of commitment will follow you, beseech you, please you, woo you – try every trick in the trade to win you over.

Guys with phobia of commitment will even drop hints of long and stable relationships; they will talk of “we” and “us” not “I” and “me”.

Guys with phobia of commitment will make you feel very special. They will shower you with love and affection.

Guys with phobia of commitment will make you feel their world will come to an end if you spurn them or misunderstand them. You will find it impossible to resist them, unless you realize what is happening.

However, this ardent wooing will be limited to the first phase of the relationship. The relationship will take a different turn the moment you surrender It is not that such men treat women as trophies to be won, and then displayed in their personal museums; but they are driven by contradictory feelings.

Guys with phobia of commitment neither want to give up a woman nor want to commit themselves to her. It is a psychological disorder. But it can have serious effects both on the relationship, and on you. You will not realize what has happened to your relationship.

The same man, who could not live without you for a moment, will start looking for excuses to stay away from you. You will no longer be the shining light of their lives.

The talk of matrimony will freeze them. Your tears may make them unhappy, but it will not move them. It wouldn’t be long before you are left only with memories and tears; guys with phobia of commitment would have moved forward to another woman.

Why do they behave like this?

You need not search for reasons for the souring of the relationship. You should also not blame yourself for what has happened. You must realize that guys with phobia of commitment have an emotional disorder, and you have become a victim of a person suffering from such a disorder.

According to psychologists, the commitment phoebes behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. This may happen because:

  1. As a sensitive child, a guy with phobia of commitment world was torn by a bitter divorce between his parents. He grew up with a feeling that there can be no permanent relationship between a man and a woman. Such a relationship can only bring pain in the long run.
  2. Some guys with phobia of commitment cannot reconcile to the death of their father or mother or forget the sadness and grief that overcame their parents when one of them died. They therefore grow up with the feeling of not to enter into permanent relationships – relationships that can bring pain on account of the death of a loved one.
  3. Some guys with phobia of commitment may have been betrayed by those whom they loved. This would have created a mindset of never to give in to a woman again.

How to deal with a commitment phoebe

You must realize that you have very few chances of winning a commitment phoebe. You must therefore play hard to get. You must refuse to get into bed with him for very often these signals the end of a relationship.

Let him feel desperate; let him step up his wooing. But don’t give in. It is important that you continue to live your own life. You should not allow a commitment phobe to set the pace of your life. You should continue dating other men and act as an independent woman who can live her life on her own.

Never make the mistake of playing second fiddle to such men or switching to what-a-wife-would-do mode.

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Phobia of Commitment

phobia of commitment

Dealing With Phobia of Commitment


Phobia of Commitment

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Wife Inheritance Should Be Abolished, It Is Not Healthy

Wife inheritance is one of the practices in the past that was much adhered to particularly in African. It is a situation where, when a husband dies the brother or a close relative would take the widow as a wife. The brother or a close relative of the deceased man will become an acting husband of the widow.

It is still practiced by some communities because they do not want to desert their traditional customs. It is risky and very unhealthy practice. The worst part of it is that it is compulsory in those communities that practice it, ignoring it one can become an outcast or stigmatized.

Try and imagine the rate at which folks are dying, the cause of some deaths is incurable diseases. Don't you think wife inheritance is one way of spreading some illnesses? It is terrible when many people are dying because they see and know risks but they just pay little attention to them thus they continue risking. They believe the diseases like AIDs still don't exist and they think that they are as a result of witchcraft. Many women have contracted the disease unknowingly hence dying at a very early age making their children to be orphans. These children will grow up lacking parental love and affection. By the way, does polygamy cause child abuse?

I recently heard about a case where land crisis caused one child to kill his uncle as he claimed that the uncle was responsible for giving him land, he didn't know that the uncle was not his dad since he was born before her mother was inherited as a wife. This too is as a consequence of wife inheritance.

When the kids discover that their fathers are different, it brings about hatred amongst them and disregard to their mum whom they may regard as polyandry. It creates a nasty impression to people who have been influenced by the western culture. It may also lead to shame. It also increases the population while family resources are really limited.

I’m of the opinion that in today’s world women can be able to take care and provide for themselves. Forcing women to be inherited as wives is abusing them and depriving them their rights. Widows are able and capable of making their own choices. In some families wives are bread winners, so why aren’t they given their freedom of choice? Those wives who are comfortable of being inherited, should do as they desire but putting in mind that their health is very important.

I repeat wife inherence is unhealthy. You can find a man inheriting two women or more and the worst part is that the man can not take care of them. Is it a must that each lady ought to have a hubby? What if they need to be celibate now that their husbands whom they loved have died? Just to mention, in heaven there is no marriage.

To conclude, folks should be told about what is happening and more so on outcome of wife inheritance.

Visit Nikenya chats and forums where the writer of this article Nancyshanice‎ debates family issues. You may become a member of family forums.

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Posted by getexback - November 19, 2011 at 1:15 am

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All About How to Save A Marriage With Love Poems

What you may not know is that being more romantic can teach you all about how to save marriage. Love is actually one of the greatest bonds ever, and it can make married couples stay close and...

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Posted by admin - November 3, 2011 at 1:06 am

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